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Recently I realised that there is something I may be missing out on.
Something a lot of other women are up to, that I have only dabbled in.
And no, I'm not talking about anything battery operated.
I'm talking about female friendships.
Now before you all start thinking I'm a bit wierd. I'm not. Much.
I do have female friends. But I don't see them very often. When I do see them, its great, and it's like we've never been apart. The sands of time drift away, and its like the months (or in some cases years), since I last saw my friend never really happened. It's great.
But the demands of modern life, geography, and in some cases motherhood, means that I just don't get together with my friends as often as films like Sex and The City would have you believe that we "should".
But does it matter? I see people around me at work who see their friends all the time, and have regular scheduled meet ups with their friends. They get upset with each other if something comes up and one of them is unable to make it.
Thats something I find a bit difficult to relate to. I find it hard to find other women who "get" me. I shy away at any hint of bitchiness, so tend to steer clear of groups of women (I'm not saying groups of women are bitchy by the way... but it can happen!), and sometimes I have to admit, I find forming new friendships a strain - I value my "alone" time, and I resent having to justify it to other people who expect me to give it up for a girlie lunch. And yes, I know, that makes me sound very strange. I'm OK with myself though.
And this brings me neatly to the subject of my sister - she has always had a wide circle of friends. She sees them regularly, she goes out regularly with them. Her boyfriend had to fight for the right to be accepted by her group of friends (many other less strong men faced the group and failed to make the cut). My sister and her friends all grew up together - they went to the same school and in some cases even the same university. Some have moved away for jobs, but they still have regular get togethers.
Until recently I had a feeling that I'd find this a bit claustrophobic if I was in my sister's position. But then my sister recently organised a charity event on behalf of a female cancer charity. She arranged champagne and canapes plus a private screening of SATC2 with a prize raffle for over 200 ladies. Her friends turned out en masse to support her. And I never realised how great that could be until I saw it. She felt great as a result of being there, and it was clear that her friends (as well as her family and her partner) felt extremely proud of her.
It takes someone special to inspire that in people - and it made me think about whether I'd been missing out on all that female solidarity. While I'll never be as sociable as my sister, and I'll always value my own time, I've also realised that maybe being more open to the possibility of friendship is no bad thing.
So, to my sister, in my opinion...
How about you... do you revel in your female friendships, or are you more of a loner?


5 comments:
I'm more of a see them occasionally type as well. I don't think I could say ooh we'll meet up every thursday or something, I know I'd never stick to it. I like time with the family and time alone.
I feel exactly the same as you! I have a few close female friends but we sometimes go a month or so without seeing each other. I kinda feel that the whole Sex and the City idea of female friendship takes it to extremes!
Aww this is such a lovely post to read :)
I don't have a big group of friends and usually more comfortable around men in general (most of my aquaintances are men and a lot older than me) but my closest friends are 2 girls i've known for years. I personally am not comfortable in a big group anyway and the idea of all the people in the group being women seems odd to me. I think i'm quite an unusual person and certainly not like many other girls my age. I am a social person in a way because i love seeing the friends i have but don't really feel the need to make more.
I know what you mean. I value my "alone time" but sometimes I feel like it would be great to have a huge group of friends.
I used to have loads of friends when I was in highschool but most of those "friendships" didn't last. Now I have only one real friend. My best friend who I've been best friends for over ten years and all my other mates live in other parts of the country (or in some cases other parts of the world) and we only keep in conctact over the internet. Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out but then I hear others talk about how they spent the weekend drinking and hooking up with strangers and I'm actually quite happy with my lonesome self^^
New follower by the way, love your blog :D
I'm like you I value time on my own, although I guess I am with my Mr most of the time so I'm not really alone! Also I have a family full of women - they do drive me insane but the bond you have with family, who are also your friends is amazing, it's complete trust and knowing they are always there for you.
Plus you can tell family to get lost when you're sick of them too!
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